Unconsummated marriage is the marriage in which the couple fail to have
penetrative sexual intercourse. These are sometimes called incomplete
marriages. Most couples are dismayed to find that they are unable to have
sexual intercourse, whether in their first attempts, or in subsequent attempts
after the marriage. Often, simple embarrassment prevents them from confiding in
or consulting with anyone, thus perpetuating the condition, often for several
years. Many of them continue to have an outwardly married life but their sexual
practice remains non-consummated! This finally leads to severe marital discord,
and if untreated by any Sex Therapist will end up in divorce.
A few of the couples enjoy the intimate feeling by getting involved in
necking and petting. They seem to be fairly comfortable this, even without
sexual intercourse.
Causes of Unconsummated Marriages: The spectrum of causes is very wide.
It would be surprising to know that many couples are in unconsummated marriages
just because of lack of basic knowledge about sexuality, genitals, their
structure and functional aspects. This is true even in case of highly educated
couples and who are living is the age of internet and television, where
sexually explicit material is available.
Unconsummated marriages are relatively more common in religiously
orthodox communities. Before marriage these individuals believe with conviction
that sexual intercourse is ‘bad’. The same thought would continue even after
marriage and they cant get rid of this pattern of thinking that sex is ‘bad and
wrong’
Other causes for unconsummated marriages are Sexual abuse (rape,
molesting etc) in the premarital life which will have its unhealed scars in the
minds of these individuals. These bad experiences of past make them believe
that sexual intercourse is not a pleasurable experience; it hurts and
contaminates.
Few other couples may suffer with one or more of the following
conditions, which will fail them from consummating their marriage
Ø Vaginismus- painful spasm at the entrance of the
vagina, which makes penetration impossible (in females)
Ø Dyspareunia -Arousal disorders in females leading
to lack of lubrication difficulty and pain during penetration (mostly in
females)
Ø Erectile Dysfunction secondary to performance anxiety
Ø Fear of pregnancy (both male and female)
Ø Premature Ejaculation (extra vaginal ejaculation, even before
penetration)
Ø Poor technique of intercourse (both male and female)
Diagnosis of Unconsummated Marriages:
The Sexual Physician will take a detailed history of the both wife and
husband individually, followed by a joint session with the couple. Both male
and female factors will be thoroughly examined and also the relationships
issues (non-sexual) will be assessed. Physical examination and laboratory tests
are done for both the couples
Treatment of Unconsummated marriages:
Though it is very tedious and time taking to treat these cases, but if
the couple is really interested and motivated, the success rate is fairly good.
Treatment involves a combined approach with sex counseling, Sex Therapy and
medications.
If you have any queries/problems,
We are here to help you solve your problems.
Feel free to contact us.
The “Psychologist”
Psychological Counseling Centre’s at
Chennai:- 9786901830
Panruti:- 9443054168
Pondicherry:- 9865212055 (Camp)
For appointment please Call us or Mail
Us
For
appointment:
SMS your Name -Age – Mobile Number - Problem in Single word - date and day -
Place of appointment (Eg: Rajini - 99xxxxxxx0 – Family Counseling, No sex with
spouse, wife not ready for sex, no sex with husband, – 21st Oct, Sunday - Chennai )
You will receive Appointment details through SMS
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